Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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