he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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