Rock
Scissors
Fuck
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
