I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize