Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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