counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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