I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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