I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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