HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
