will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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