He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
