Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
