My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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