This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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