I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There r osticjed everywhere
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
