Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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