does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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