Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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