Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
COCAINE IS GR8
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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