This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
