So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
