Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
