these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
