hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
