You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
