This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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