why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
