He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
