No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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