Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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