there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
