You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
