If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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