Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize