I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
