high people should be assigned attendants
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
