i would punch a child for taco bell
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
