I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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