We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
