we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
