Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
