I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
