I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
