idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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