He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
