in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
