It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
