erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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