i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
