I'm drive I can fine osifer
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
