she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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