i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
