Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
