So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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