My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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