I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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