I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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