We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
