yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All the doctor said was why
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
