I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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