I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
