porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
