At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
be right there i have to get my cape
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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