well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
