You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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