so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
