maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
