do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
