Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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